Doves

Dedicated to any person without a boy/girlfriend. This is for you; don't let the world convince you that you need to lower your standards.

Maybe we'll call this
My fault
And say that I
Mess everything up
Maybe the reason
I am alone
Is dark and sinister,
Deeply disturbed
But I choose to believe
That I am a dove
My white is too bright,
My peace is too much
And up in the sky
Though the view is unreal
It sometimes can feel a bit
Lonely
But one day another
Dove will come by
And together we'll fly
In the peace of the sky
Together we'll journey
Together we'll cry
And we will find something
So precious, so hushed
It dies if you dawdle
It dies if you rush
And we will hold on
Not too tight, not too much
We'll let it grow slowly
And we'll call it love.
:)

Love // Lust

Love is an angel,
She floats in the sky
Flitting just higher
Than what we can reach
We beg for her presence
Inside our parched hearts
But she pleads with us,

Patience, time and temperance.

We huff away, cross,
Impatience in hand
And then we seek
Lust
What a stunning mirage
She sits in a garden
So easy to find
So low in the branches
So close to our touch
With wild eyes, gleaming,
We rush to her side
And before we know it
She slyly smiles
And slips into
Our cynical hearts
Her breath full of roses
Her gaze like a song
We fall in a spell
And, just for a moment,
We feel so close to Love,
So mixed up, messed up,
Mistaken, mismatched
We swim through embraces
Like swans in a pond
Ignoring the fact
That beneath our feet
Is a dark, deep hole
Of the filthiest muck
And then,
The next day
We stumble to Lust,
Desires bulging
Like a bloated stomach
Our eyes glazing over
As though covered in clouds
As we rush to her side
We're sickened to find
That the smiling maiden
Has changed quite a bit
And all that stands before us
Is a towering beast
With eyes glowing, crimson,
It clutches our wrists
Enslaved, now we are,
We try, but can't flee
For now we are stuck,
Now we are trapped.
And our hearts softly cry,
Sobbing in betrayal;
How could we hurt them,
desert them and fail them
When they were meant
For so much more?
And shortly we will see
Love's angel in the sky
Beckoning and calling
So beautiful and white
But staring down at our imprisoned wrists
Lust, at our side,
Lets out a dark laugh
And, lying as usual,
Tells us quite curtly,
"Once you're with me,
You can never go back."
As Love, our sweet angel,
Weeps softly and waits,
In patience and hope
For our return.

Powerless

Written just after watching a friendship crumble.

In this moment
I want to fix
The fragile pieces, falling like ashes
From an orange, angry fire
That won't stop its' burn

But I stood there, blinking,
Powerless and aching
With the pain of a friendship,
Torn up into pieces;

I cry for this moment
When I can do nothing
I cry for these hearts,
Broken by pride,
Stubborn as horses
Who plant their hooves firmly
I cry for forgiveness,
Whose sad, angel face
Must hide in a corner-
Forgotten, unused

And I cry for myself
Unable to move
Unable to help
Unable to change;
Powerless.

Human

I want to see you laugh
With the power and emotion
Of echoes in a canyon,
A thousand miles deep

I want to see you cry
With the gutting desperation
That chokes our throats with teardrops
And shakes our bodies
Like stunning earthquakes

And I want to see you smile
With the glowing joy
Of a string of bulbs
Reflecting off of a shattered mirror
Like music screams our deepest thoughts

For I just want to know
That you feel, too,
The things I do
Please let me feel your heartbeat
So I know you're a human, too.

Fresh As Youth

I wrote this in the back seat of a pick-up truck, driving through Norcal with a handful of my siblings. The beauty of nature was overpowering, and the joy I felt so tangibly inspired this poem.

I step outside
A foggy box;
A slate-grey state of mind
And on this pavement
I rest my feet,
With pulsing, hot sun
Soaking my soul
As I breathe in the air
Of this day, fresh as youth
With the spirit of green,
Bright twigs on a tall tree
Like a weeping willow wilts
Under sad, sea-foam air
I can touch the clouds
With a sweep of my paintbrush
And I can sing a lullaby
To comfort all the stars
Burning under pressure
Of an endless font
Of midnight blue
Threatening to swallow
Their tiny, blazing bulbs

For in this moment,
I am free
Of the pressures
Of my whole life's roads;
Stop signs fade
To endless streets
That stretch beyond
The slender sprouts,
Fields of wheat
That nourish my heart
And blades of grass
That I walk on for balance
Today I am empty
Today I am full
With nothing more
Than a bright, bright soul
I sparkle like a diamond
I shine like a comet
And now I am one
With this day,
Fresh as youth.
:)

Christmas Lights

The familiar feeling
That cuts like a knife
Of being nearby but not needed
And being available
But not wanted
Of wanting so desperately
To feel
Just a little
That I am making
A tiny difference
In the lives of
My loved ones
I feel like
Christmas lights in July;
Stashed up in the attic-
Irrelevant, forgotten.

My Soul

If my soul were a place
I think it would be
A warm, sunny meadow,
Lush with tall flowers
Of amber and violet
And scarlet and turquoise
And smelling of roses
With paper-thin butterflies
Flying in comfort
And peaceful, at ease
And then on the sides
There'd be inlets much cooler
Heavy with moisture
And chilling with cold
Weeping willows would hang
Drooping with heartache
With cold drops of dew
Dripping like tears
A hammock would sway
And a wind chime would sing,
Softly and sadly,
Melancholy with grief
But always nearby,
The meadow lies ready
To warm up the cool
Of the willow's deep cold.