Haiku for October

Cool October nights
Swing-sets high and trampolines;
Indigo sky clouds.

Scared

Dedicated to a friend I have lost to drugs.

I'm scared to see your eyes again
I'm scared to see your face
I'm scared because my heart tells me
The friend I knew has gone away
I'm scared cause I see darkness
Surrounds you like a cloud
I'm scared that you fell in a hole
And don't know how you can get out
I'm scared to look you in the eye
I'm scared you won't be there

If I confessed I cried for you,
Would you even care?

I'm scared you won't remember
The times we talked and laughed
I'm scared for you cause people say
Your heart has now turned black
They say the days that you were good
Are now stuck in the past
I'm scared that once you're too far gone
There's no way to come back

So on this night I lie here
So soaked in grief and strife
I pray to God to be with you
And save you from your life.

Turquoise

Take a clumsy paintbrush
And lazily let
The brightest of colors
Streak on a wall;
Your mother will find
Your masterpiece
And shout that paint
Is solely for paper.

This is the way that we are-
So innocent and childish.

Take a starry night
And fight the perfect vantage point
Then sprinkle the sky
With shooting stars
And curl up with your closest friend
To watch a secret symphony
Play your favorite songs.

This is the way I feel
When you look at me;
So breathless and awestruck
And grasping for words.

Now take the fiercest ocean
And the smallest, frightened child
Then place the child upon the sand
And hear the way she cries and screams,
Watch the way
She runs in fear
Terrified to even touch
A tiny drop of turquoise water;

This is the way I feel
About love and all its' implications.

How To Love

Inspired by the video for the song by Lil Wayne.


All she wanted was
Love
The simplest of gifts
So precious, so fragile
Yet so elusive
With burdens on her shoulders
Too heavy now to lift
How did something free
Become so expensive?
And the people that she trusted,
The people she would see
As models of her future,
Guardians of destiny,
Were on a darkened path,
Sinister and cold
To even ask for love
Seem so foreign and so bold
And when your mother's mirror
Holds shadows of abuse
How do you find Wisdom?
How do you find Truth?
It hovers out of reach
Like the stars that hide above
When all your life
You've searched for
How to trust and
How to love.

Doves

Dedicated to any person without a boy/girlfriend. This is for you; don't let the world convince you that you need to lower your standards.

Maybe we'll call this
My fault
And say that I
Mess everything up
Maybe the reason
I am alone
Is dark and sinister,
Deeply disturbed
But I choose to believe
That I am a dove
My white is too bright,
My peace is too much
And up in the sky
Though the view is unreal
It sometimes can feel a bit
Lonely
But one day another
Dove will come by
And together we'll fly
In the peace of the sky
Together we'll journey
Together we'll cry
And we will find something
So precious, so hushed
It dies if you dawdle
It dies if you rush
And we will hold on
Not too tight, not too much
We'll let it grow slowly
And we'll call it love.
:)

Love // Lust

Love is an angel,
She floats in the sky
Flitting just higher
Than what we can reach
We beg for her presence
Inside our parched hearts
But she pleads with us,

Patience, time and temperance.

We huff away, cross,
Impatience in hand
And then we seek
Lust
What a stunning mirage
She sits in a garden
So easy to find
So low in the branches
So close to our touch
With wild eyes, gleaming,
We rush to her side
And before we know it
She slyly smiles
And slips into
Our cynical hearts
Her breath full of roses
Her gaze like a song
We fall in a spell
And, just for a moment,
We feel so close to Love,
So mixed up, messed up,
Mistaken, mismatched
We swim through embraces
Like swans in a pond
Ignoring the fact
That beneath our feet
Is a dark, deep hole
Of the filthiest muck
And then,
The next day
We stumble to Lust,
Desires bulging
Like a bloated stomach
Our eyes glazing over
As though covered in clouds
As we rush to her side
We're sickened to find
That the smiling maiden
Has changed quite a bit
And all that stands before us
Is a towering beast
With eyes glowing, crimson,
It clutches our wrists
Enslaved, now we are,
We try, but can't flee
For now we are stuck,
Now we are trapped.
And our hearts softly cry,
Sobbing in betrayal;
How could we hurt them,
desert them and fail them
When they were meant
For so much more?
And shortly we will see
Love's angel in the sky
Beckoning and calling
So beautiful and white
But staring down at our imprisoned wrists
Lust, at our side,
Lets out a dark laugh
And, lying as usual,
Tells us quite curtly,
"Once you're with me,
You can never go back."
As Love, our sweet angel,
Weeps softly and waits,
In patience and hope
For our return.

Powerless

Written just after watching a friendship crumble.

In this moment
I want to fix
The fragile pieces, falling like ashes
From an orange, angry fire
That won't stop its' burn

But I stood there, blinking,
Powerless and aching
With the pain of a friendship,
Torn up into pieces;

I cry for this moment
When I can do nothing
I cry for these hearts,
Broken by pride,
Stubborn as horses
Who plant their hooves firmly
I cry for forgiveness,
Whose sad, angel face
Must hide in a corner-
Forgotten, unused

And I cry for myself
Unable to move
Unable to help
Unable to change;
Powerless.