Tuesday, September 25, 2012


The miles between
My oldest home
And my current home
Are astounding
As we stretch like acrobats
Down long, long highways
Dust and bumps and
Ache and sighs
I wonder where my heart lies
Somewhere between
Four hundred miles.


I drank in cold sunlight
Letting out a long-held breath
Down this wide and empty street
Smiles from each nestled fern
Dusty gusts of robust wind
Monstrous houses with fairytale spirits
Standing to tell their hundred year tale
And whispering,
"Who are you, new, wandering soul?"
All these things
They do reside
Down the bends of a cliffside drive.

I hope.

So low down on this mountain am I
So far up have I yet to go
And though I'm not sure
How You could love me
I hope and I hope and I hope.


I am
And I am
I try to be calm
Breathe in,
Breathe out
As I talk myself through this.
He really likes you
And he wants to be at your side
Just do this.
Dive in.
Hope, with outstretched arms
And smile so deep
In your lungs, in your toes
Feel something brilliant
Like scattered paper confetti
On a lush April day
Forget the pain
And scoff at your fears
FEEL this love
And let it be real...

Yet all I can feel

To the One I will one day Love

I want someone who
Makes my heart pound and thump
Who I am so excited to see and who
Takes my hands and
Spins me around
In glorious circles
Laughter, gold lights and
Music from a gentle century
I want someone who
Doesn't care what I'm wearing
Because it's not the packaging
But the inner soul beauty;
Who sees me for who I am
And who picks me up and
Holds me tight,
Taking that risk
And letting me know I am loved;
Purely, clearly and simply
Tethered by mile-deep
Rods in the earth
Of a solid, strong Faith
And deeply-knit views;
I just want someone whose soul is as strong as his unflinching love.


I don't really know who you are
And it feels as if I never will
I'm choking on smiles
That seem quite contrived
And memories dipped
In a red, acid ink
For you're not all I thought

[I don't even know who I thought you were]

But I see now
I'll never know
So quietly I'll go
And leave you to
Someone who's better
As chipping away
At miles and miles
Of learned actions
While the genuine you
Fights, bound and gagged,
And deeply muffled
Somewhere in an upstairs closet.

On Shame

A moment of pain so intense
That the soul bounces, restless and jogging
Not sure how to endure this world anymore
A moment of pain internal
When you inhale shame
And exhale fear
And every breath cuts
Sharp, in the lungs
For you're still here
And there's no escape.

A moment of pain
That is shaming
When you sit on the floor
And pick up trash
For usually you hold it
As far from the body as possible
But today you surrender
For you believe, darkly,
That you belong where it goes:
A land-fill
Dead eyes, useless.

And a moment of pain
That leaks out the eyes
The minutes pass quickly
As the tears drip slowly
For you didn't know
Your eyes held so much saltwater
You look in the mirror
Surprised to feel this agony
When a moment ago
You were fine
A moment of pain
That ends in a quiet,
Silent prayer of the heart

Help, Lord, help.


The sun burns golden
In stock-still trees
The mountains sit, silent,
Never to be moved
And never to be broken
The day closes
And cools under stars
Which burn, hot,
But too far away
To make a mark

Who am I
And what is my purpose?

Cherry Tomato

I love you,
My God,
Sweet as a red
Cherry tomato
Dripping down my chin;
Hot summer scorch,
Blue moon night.