Thursday, January 12, 2012


I wrote this poem in all lowercase because it reflected how small I felt beneath the heavy indigo sky.

as lonely as a palm tree
here i sway
as underneath the weeping stars
you stare up as you lay
and she's the ballerina
spinning in your head
i'm the swollen summer sun
burning cherry red
eclipses pass our drizzly sights
and summers end in rain
but beauty never leaves your eyes
as my heart aches in pain
for you're the memory beating
through every open wound
i wonder if you'll call her up
and be her savior soon
cause i'll be in the summer months
july, august and june
i miss the moments you were mine
like mornings miss the moon
and maybe i'm too turquoise for
your stubborn shades of gray
all i know is that
i miss you more and more each day.


Maybe one day I'll be married
And to the one that I love
I'll forever be true
And we'll work through each fight
With the strength of a hurricane
And I'll thank my good God
For each moment of love...

But for now as I skip
Down the beach on a Tuesday
My hair is a mess
And I dance like a freak
Yet I really don't care
Cause there's no one to think of
I savor this moment
Like sweets, warm and caramel
I don't have to worry
About jealousy
Or trying to decode
Minimally communicated semi-messages
Or trying to decipher
The actions of my male peers
For I am alone
Simply and profoundly
And I know that
Being single
Can be fantastically, dazzlingly
Beautifully bright.

Haiku Without Words

You called me yours and
I called you mine but we did
Not use words, no words.

The Stranger

There's a stranger
With a dark brown hat
He smiles at me
From across the room
And into my hands
He slips a stiff stack
Of patient love letters;
Words traced in ink
He sends seven dozen
Bright, verdant flowers
Beaming with beauty
They sit in a vase
And we sit and talk
On a bench in the park
He tells me bright things
That should make my heart sing

Yet it doesn't.
It sits.
And through his letters
I see strings of lies
In his flowers
I find bugs and decay
And in his words
Shined up and polished
I'm not clear and certain
To whom his compliments are addressed
For he is a stranger
And all he sees
Is a healthy body
Yet I am a girl
With a heart and a soul
The stranger tries his hardest
To unwrap the wrappings
And untie each ribbon
To reveal this great gift
That I hide
Very deeply
But I must leave
Before he succeeds

For in death
I find greater comfort
Than to be lied to,
And viewed as
Means to pleasure

By a stranger,
A darkened stranger.

My Heart

My heart sits inside your hands
Quietly, she beats and waits
Wondering if you'll pick her up
And hold her in a special place
She may not be
The finest heart-
She has a couple
Cracks and breaks
But you would be
Amazed to see
The caring warmth
That she creates
And even though
She may be small
Inside she's full
Of purest love
And she could pour it
Out for you
If you'd hold her
With softest glove
Just give her time-
Don't hold too tight
And she will show you
Magic things
For Love runs in her
Swelling veins
Unending in its'
Spilling springs.



I am not a potter
And you are not
Made of clay
I can't just shape and mold you
Into everything
I want and need
For you are already
Taking shape
And the shape I've seen
Is beautiful
Like sunlit gems on a glassy beach
Yet definitely not
The shape I need
So I'll let you go
So you can grow
Into anything you wish
I'll let you go
So my ideas and dreams
Won't haunt your thoughts
And box up your actions
I'll let you go
Even though these tears
Soak my sheets
As I cry each night
Under black-burnt dreams
For before I knew
You were not for me
I wished and wished
That you could be.


I saw her today
With you
On the street
She smiled at you
And slipped your hand
In her palm
And she let loose
Those words
That break my heart
A thousand times
She told you that
She loves you

And as my stomach
Filled with acid
As as my wishes
Soft and secret
Crumbled away
As my eyes
Burned with tears
I let myself feel
This jealousy
It leaks in my mind
Spewing like gas
Spilling like fountains
I swallow a lump
Inside my throat
Destruction whispers
But I ignore her

For I don't want
To hurt myself
Or you, my friend
Or even her
I just wanted to be your girl.

That's all I wanted.



Somewhere in another world,
A universe that's not too far
You and I are there, together
Hand in hand, we walk through the woods
Searching for sunlight
Through moss-covered meadows
And everything we've ever said
That's glistened with an honest charm
Hangs in crystal
In wind-chime trees.

Yet here on earth
We walk through
I see you sometimes but
Our faces are distant
Our hands never touch
Our hearts are apart
And the things that we've shared
Are broken in bits
Yet glued back together
Clumsily, by time
And although I daydream
Of parallel universes
I hold every moment
That you and I spend
Close to my heart
And wrapped up in Hope.

Cold World

I'm just trying my best to keep my morals and values strong in a world so vehemently opposed to that. I have found so much peace, joy and fulfillment in trying to know God, and on the converse, I shudder to think of the darkness I've glimpsed when I become immersed in more worldly matters. I pray God will keep me safe from evil always, and I pray He does the same for you, too! :)

You can take my coat.
And you can have this
Plastic smile
As you dial on a telephone
With phantom hands
I've never held
As sinister fingers
Touch my bones
I wonder how you think
You'll get to me
I wonder how you you've
Ever been under that illusion

I laugh.

Cages will shut
And voices may scream
Shackles may clasp
And doors will slam
As my body may be
Inside of you buildings
Go ahead, dark sir,
And light a quick match
Burn up my body
You can take
These mannequin motions
You can have
Each piece of my outer
For when you reach out
For my hand
You will find
That it is cold
Like my heart
Which will be
Deflated and silent
For I will be

As my soul sits high
On a travertine shelf
And my mind now is locked
In a solid gold haven
For you, cold world
Can have these lies
I don't belong here
Inside your black prison
I don't belong here
Choking on your bitter poison.


You chased me down
In front of my friends
And you aimed at me
An arrow of arrogance
You pointed at me
A shotgun of smugness
And you asked me a question
Intended to hurt
I spun in a daze,
Unsure of an answer
And you, as a hawk
Swooped up my dignity
And let it fall-
In a bloody sheet of glass
As I was left
To squirm in pain
So tell me, proud sir,
What is your gain?
What is the profit
In making a stranger
Look like a fool?
How do you feel now,
Haughty and high up?
Do you feel like a king?
Let me polish your throne
Built from pebbles of pride
And fashioned in shimmering
Glimmers of greed
As you laugh in your kingdom
You can be sure
That your chuckles will echo
For no one is here
To laugh at your side
And as I leave your courtroom
I feel Pity's sting
For I notice your kingdom is