Thursday, November 10, 2011

Heaven Waits

Heaven waits for me
Glistening like a summer dew
Love is gushing in my heart
Rising and expanding,
Carrying me like a river raft
I let myself fall
In this spring filled with hope
I let myself go
Of anger and fear
Shedding these shadows
I let myself love
I let myself see
The light in the clouds
Of Jesus, sweet Jesus

Only the truly insane can see
How perfectly sensible His call is
Softly he sings for me,
Sweet like a melon's flesh
I shiver with pleasure
At the thought of my God
Holding me close
To the warmth of His heart
So I hold onto this rope
It's golden and warm
And if I keep my promises
And make up for
The ones I break
I will make it up the ladder
To a place where light abounds
And hearts may heal in a single moment;
Oh Jesus, please come for me!

Heart, Treble Clef


I'm grateful for all of the
Moments we shared
For you were a star
Shining, high, in my sky
I'm grateful that you
Came so close to my heart
Even though you're gone now
And I don't know why
I'm grateful for all of
The words that we shared,
Ideas as emeralds and
Dreams, bright like gold
I'm grateful for all of the
Kindness in you
And I wish you peace
From now 'til you're old
I'm grateful each time
Your memory calls
Even though I am sad that you left
Yet music and friendship
Will always be ours
As I sign my name
Heart, treble clef.


To a friend of mine whom I care about so much.

As I look out on the pale blue water
Sparkling under the crystal sun
I think of you, my friend
And my heart feels burdened
With the pain of your past

I wish the sun could shine a light
Into the darkness you have seen
I wish the ocean's waves could come
And wash away the seasick green
Of all the things you have endured,
The terror one should never face
I wish the Lord would soak your wounds
In soothing springs of healing grace

I wish that I could show you
That you are loved more than you know
And if you saw how much I cared
It could melt away the snow
Of icy- cold relationships
That left you with a chill
I wish that I could give you
All my love and still
The hope and joy that I have seen
I realize now I have been blessed
And I pray God will show you peace
Through every cycle of distress

Please take this poem I have scribbled
And let it be a sign that you
Are loved and cared for more each day
And one day soon you'll be made new.



Written about the more negative aspects of college partying; for instance, I recently read an article about a boy who DIED in a frat house after a night of heavy partying. According to the article, some of the people there carried him to a bed nearby, and he didn't move for 10 hours, yet no one did a thing... This breaks my heart. I recently visited some colleges, and after observations and hearing personal testimonies, this poem was the result of my thought processes.

They creep through the streets
In thousand, in unison
Mindless and controlled
Unaware of dark clouds rolling
Their eyes are dead
Their hearts are hard
Hurt and left, forgotten and left
I wonder how their Father feels
Crying, from a darkened sky

They wish to possess
A love like a lion-
Fierce and untamed
Like hearts left to love
But instead all they find
Is heartache and numbness
Faceless bodies,
Flailing and groping
Gasping for love,
So elusive, it waits
They swallow their poison
Eyes squinted, eyes blinded
Bitter stingers in their mouth,
It sits in bottles and cans

A lifestyle of joy
A lifestyle of freedom
A lifestyle of free love,
No one has to pay the price...
Is this really what you find,
Crying girl on Sunday morning?
How he held you, lost in poison
Then left you there for dead.
Is this really what you wanted,
Hopeless boy on Tuesday night?
You gaze up at your trophy wall-
Broken dreams you hoped to steal
Left to perish underneath
A nightmare filled with
I know you knew your mother's love
And you knew that she loved you
I know the shame you feel as you
Love and leave another girl

College, once a golden place
How have you become so dark?
Oh, how you drain your victims,
Oh, how you break their hearts.


Wrote this in a quick panting/ walking break while on a run, and pondering why I run.

As I'm running on the
Pounding pavement
The pain in my heart
Becomes physical,
A visceral sense of
My shame and abandonment
Sweeps through these lungs,
In my sides,
In my chest;

I see how she looked at me
Condescending, she scolded
She stripped my confidence
To the bone
And ever since
I've been wriggling in regret
So scared and ashamed
I twitch in my sleep
Nightmares are a familiar hand
Clammy and cold, to hold my thoughts

Just like he left me
Lying here
He clearly shouted into my heart,
"Yes, I know you and
No, I don't want you."

Which yes,
He has every right to say
And no,
That does not numb the pain.

So here I run
In shadows, in daylight
Here I run
In cold and in warm
I let my shadow
Follow my steps
As I try to outrun
My sorrows.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


Silence I have sought so long
And haven't found,
I have not found
A silent star in daytime's sky
To plant my feet
Upon the ground
Yet on the night
I asked for God
I found a place
To rest my head
In silent silk
Tasting waves
Of silent grace.

lady danville. 7.28.11.

Enchanted night
Hundreds of people
Youth, excitement, open air
Concert stage
Rainbow lights:
Pink, blue, green and gold

I watched from the center
Roughly third row
Arrival through elbows,
"Excuse me, excuse me,"
Opening band:
Crunchy guitar
Sweaty, ambitious
Yet still I await
The main event

One, two, three
They came, took the stage
Heart is pounding
Please play my song...
Guitar strums through wires
Fingers touch plastic keys
Taped-up hands
On lovely cajon
Mouths kiss their microphones

My heart is alive
In this musical magic.


Black & White

Did you hear that rustle in the bushes?
A quiet footstep, walking away
Did you feel that heartbeat,
Slowly fading from an emotion's life?
As the picture turns to black and white
Then crumbles into a dusty pile
As the wick turns black
And the flame slowly dies
My heart breaks as I let you go
Falling to the carpet's touch
I cry out as the pain is sharp
And let the memory
Of you and I die
Just as it was supposed to die
From the day I met you.

Thin Ice

I'm running
You're walking
Our hearts both on fire
Passion is a force
We both held back tightly

The difference is
I put my heart in;
I put my soul in

I reached out my hand
And you were not there
You were nowhere to be found.

I think of all the miles I travelled;
Hills and valleys
Sloping and rising
To see you, to be there for you
To give what you needed
I asked for support
But you wouldn't hold me up
I asked for a smile
And you showed me a shoulder
Cold as an ice storm
I shivered and shivered
Catching the flu
I stayed up all night
Exhausted, broken, forgotten and dead
I asked for you
Timidly, weakly,
I let myself hope
That you would be there;
A saving grace
In acid rain.

But you didn't come-
I waited.
You didn't care-
I wept.

And you didn't show me
The smallest of kindness
So here I am,
On the other side
The transformation is hard to believe
As I stand on this ledge
High above the city
My heart is still on fire,
My mind is now clear

I see what I need;
I see it.
I wait.
I wait for the one
Who will show me how he cares
In small deeds
And large promises
Kept neatly supported
By beams of actions
That reassure, nurture and protect.

I wait for the one
I don't have to run after
And chase like a thief
Escaping my love.

You will be a memory
Frozen in a distant pond
Under a sign,
Reading in red,
"Do Not Skate; Thin Ice."

For I refuse
From this day forth
To feel your coldness
Ever again.


There you are
Somewhere in this city
Your world is a comet;
One light year away
I'm stubborn,
I sit here
I won't call your name
I simply sit softly
And laugh at this game
I saw you this summer
On nights like a sunset
My memories stacked
Just an echo away
From heartbreak or something
That kills like a cancer;
I squeezed hope too harshly
Just praying you'd stay.