Feelings

"Thank you for those feelings,"
I say to my heart
For even though the joy
Was quick and not enough
And even though the pain
Was hard and cut me up
What I felt was love
And what I felt was a broken heart
And the colors of those feelings
Like the memories of those days
Were bright and beautiful
And harsh and dark and heavy
And I'm glad to know
I felt those things
As my heart expanded
Like a rippling kite
I'm grateful that
I took a swing
With all my strength
Though I missed the ball

I'm glad I tried
I'm glad I hurt
I'm glad I loved.

Hey, Surfer Boy

Hey, surfer boy
With the tousled, golden hair
When I passed you by today
I couldn't help but stare
I was running down the beach
iPod music in my ear
I wonder if you saw the sweat
Dripping down my face like tears
As you shook the sand off
Your sun-kissed, salty skin
You smiled like the sunlight
In a way so genuine
And as our eyes were locked together
My heart swelled up with sudden joy
All I felt was summer weather
When you smiled, surfer boy.

Secret

The secret is
I care for you
Like Nature cares
For drops of dew
That nourish all her
Springing plants
And crumbs that feed
Her marching ants;
I care for you like that.

In-between

I used to hate
This in-between place
Between love lost and love found
This tree house hanging
In the sky
With feet not quite on the ground
But today as I stared
Out the windowpane
At a blue sky,
Perfectly clear
I realized I find
Something beautifully real
Whenever I
Find myself here.

Look-Out

It's like you're
Always on the look-out
Waiting for me to slip up
Like I don't really mean it,
I don't really care.

I don't know why you've never trusted
A day in your whole life
But regardless of the reason
I'm getting kind of tired
Of waiting for your
Green light
And hoping you
Will realize

I'm not here to watch you fall.

Loser

No one's gonna call
So I should stop
Checking my phone
It's a Friday night
And yet I'm stuck
Haunting my home
Does that make me a loser?
Or am I just
Figuring it out on my own?
They say that you
Should go on dates
And try the different types
So why can't I
Seem to ever
Catch anybody's eye?
Maybe I'm a loser
And that's the reason why
But even all the girls I see
With beautiful faces,
Calendars full
They never seem to be
Happy
So maybe it's just
A story we're told
Maybe I don't need a date
Maybe life is really great
Being home alone at eight,
A loser on Friday night.

Princess

I don't want to love him
I don't want to do this
My heart is still in pieces
I don't know how to glue it
I want to hide away
Like a princess, locked up, high
Fall asleep, await my prince
Away from games and lies
I've been searching, all these years
For one to treat me right
I feel like a morning sun
Waiting out endless nights.

Training

Everyday
I'm learning to stop missing you
I'm patient with me
When my heart takes the lead
With the usual rush of her beats
I calm down my thoughts,
Show them new things
They're so used to your name
Turning circles in them
So they all look the same
It drives me insane
To think of how much I've trained
To stop feeling your pain.

Giraffe

I feel like a fool
As I'm flapping my arms
Up and down
Side to side
Trying to find
Any way
For you to notice me
As you stare in her eyes
Tears fill up mine
She drinks up your love
Cause it's always in her cup
She's used to the taste;
They all love her

And I ask myself,
Who am I?
A giraffe picking leaves
From a tree
In the sky?
No one tries
To decide
What I'm holding inside
They don't care
They don't guess
If I'm calm
Or a mess

I'm going to stop flapping now-
You won't see me anyhow.

Joy

How do you bottle
Joy?
Where do you find
Such an undefined thing?
To me it is music
To you it is weekends
To her it is climbing
A mountain, one higher
Than the one she
Climbed yesterday.

Alone

Thinking back
On the words between us
Couldn't quite figure out
Why we came so undone
Scanning my memories
Trying to find
That tug or pull
That unraveled it all
But today
I discovered
Why we broke;
I heard it through my window
The words you spoke
To that pretty girl
Walking down your street
You told here
You liked her
Better than me
I don't know if it's her words,
So foreign and mysterious
The sarcasm she punches
Like a fighter in the ring
Or the smile on her lips
As her eyes gleam mischievous
But I do know
This fact:
I could never do that
I could never be that
So I think I'll turn around
Find my path home
I think I'll be okay
I think I could be happy
Alone.

Vulnerable

My soul is wide open
My shield has now shattered
I don't know what's coming
But it doesn't matter
Cause I am here, helpless
Breathless and weak
From caring so much
And trying to trust
Someone who doesn't
Quite care about me.

Water

Water, pure
And water, clean
Water, come and
Wash these spots
Of black, black ink
Dripping on our souls
From greed
And loss
Of self-control.

Heartless

"Here is my heart,"
I told him
I closed my eyes
And handed it freely

I opened them up
He was gone
Without him
I feel
Heartless.

What We Felt

I guess we've all
Felt like this:
Like undisturbed afternoons
Like salty fries
In sugared shakes
Like floating masts
In soaring sailboats;
Free from cares
And ready to give
Anything
And everything
To the one who keeps us
Up at night
Writing poems
On stacking pages
When we should really
Be asleep
And I guess we take
The drenching storms
The aching emptiness
The desperate tears
And the start-all-overs
All because
What we felt
Was beautiful.

Searching

Somewhere floats
A severed soul
Searching for
Its' other piece
Searching for
A girl like me
Who's searching for
The same as he.

Birthday

Tomorrow's your birthday
And for these past weeks
I've been trying so hard
To patch up our leaks
We were so close
I trusted so quick
I thought you'd be there
And tomorrow I'd give
You a letter or a package
With a picture of balloons
Saying, "Happy birthday, my friend"
And then one day soon
We'd turn into best friends
Sharing secrets and stories
But unfortunately
That's not
The twist to this story
Cause now you have left
And we're no longer friends
And my heart feels so hollow
Like a path with no end
I wish we would make up
I wish we would mend
But every time I try
You won't change, you won't bend
Won't talk, and I'm calling
Out for you instead
Saying, why did we end up
Like strangers, my friend?
But I can't use that word
Cause friends we are not
The pain is so heavy
To know you forgot
But it's worse to think maybe
You remember, indeed
But now that you've known me
There's no reason, no need.

Poet's World

I escape into
My poet's world
There are no rules here;
I am free

Free from stress
And hard decisions
That shadow my sun
Till I'm shivering, stiff

And in this world
I can be
Whoever my heart
Wants to be
No one ever judges me
In my poet's world.

Someone I Would Like To Know

For some reason
I thought that you
Were someone I
Would like to know

I didn't see
Beneath the teeth
That gleamed out from
Your charming smile

That you were really
Someone I
Should stay away from
As best as I can

I turn away
To be alone
Away from you
But still, unknown
Embarking now
But on my own

I wish that you could be
Someone I would like to know.

Forgotten Things

The sun is coming
My lungs are filling
Finally I'm over you

The silence is breaking
My fears are aching;
They know they are no longer true

And it's funny to see
The boy I loved
With such a perilous force

Cower into
My mind's back corner
Where Time stampede's its' horse

He'll never, ever, ever know
How I struggled for him
But it doesn't matter
How much sadder
I was, or how I adored him

Cause he wouldn't listen
Or take my opinion
And give it a set of wings

He was too busy
With talking about him
And other now-forgotten things.