My Father

There is one thing I need
In this coldest of winters
That rattles my bones
And stifles my hopes
I squeeze my eyes shut
Like lemons in summer
And think of my God,
My Savior, my Father.
<3

Lesson Learned

I guess the lesson
You have learned
From my silent symphony
Is that, although I'm patient,
I won't wait around forever.

Sweet

One moment I spend with you
Is laughter from an infant's smile
And with your eyes,
So round, so blue
You look at me and I can't help
But melt like wax
Falls soft in drops
From burning candles in a jar

Everything I feel inside
When you are standing
By my side
Feels beautiful
Like daybreak's sun;
Cool and fresh
Like just-washed greens

And if the Lord
Would bless me with
Just one good chance
To be to you
The best friend that
I know how
I would laugh
And I would sing
With purest joy,
Sweet as honey.

Eraser

What a strange thing
Is a brand new eraser;
When you can write secrets
Then smooth them away
And you can tell stories
But change every part

Too bad all our lives
We have written in pen.

Business As Usual

Yes, this is all on me;
I claim this as my fault.
I'm sorry I mistook
The words that you said
And the things that you did
As something coming
From a human heart
As some small form
Of human emotion

Sorry I was stupid
For guessing that you cared
I realize now that it was just
A business call,
And I was one
You could call "esteemed colleague"
I'll tell my heart
To shh, be quiet
And shake your hand,
Pump, pump, release
It's all in a day's work
And nothing more than that

I'm sorry that I thought
That maybe this was love.

Chicken & Stir-Fry

To my friend whom I love very much.

I remember
For it was just 2 weeks ago-

Chicken and stir-fry
On a plate

Laughter flowed
In easy streams
As we sat down
And prayed together

Over chicken and stir-fry
On a plate

It was you,
The daughter
And your sister
Mother, father
And then sat me,
The best friend

And for a moment,
There we were:

Chicken and stir-fry,
Easy laughter
We were a family
Two weeks ago

Then fast forward
To today

I got your call
This morning
My jaw dropped down
And my heart froze
As your words pierced
My deepest dreams,

"My mother, my father,"
You said to me
In blackest words
"Are splitting up."

And I cried out
To Jesus Christ,
"Why?"
I asked Him,
"Why these words?"

My heart was sad
My heart was angry

And I can't believe
The family I know
The family I love

Has shattered apart

I cry for you all-

Two daughters, a father
One mother and memories:
Chicken and stir-fry
On a plate.

Summers

I remember
In scorching summers
The final hours
Of pulsing sun
When, just before
The darkness came,
In heavy curtains
And whispered winds,
The magic of
The steel-cut silence

And I would open
My front door
And sit outside
On my front-step
To let the crickets
Sing to me
The sweetest songs
In harmony
As coarse as
Manes
On husky horses

And in the sky
Of California
The stars strung out
Like angels in Heaven
To break my heart
As I yearned to fly.