Saturday, October 3, 2009

Desire and Fear

Two walls are caving in
I'm right in the middle
Desire and fear
Fighting this battle:
My heart against what I know.
My defense has been
So weak against you
Ever since this situation
Tore into two
Part of me is broken
Part of me is falling behind
If I could
Snap my fingers and
Choose a side
I have a strong feeling
I'd be alright
But this overdone routine
Of hovering in between
Is taking the life out of me
So far the only
Road I've taken
Is so weak and beaten
All I have done
Is crumble in a corner-
I have tears and words
But where is my
Sword and shield?
Up until this moment
I thought I was brave
I thought it'd be easy
To pick a side
But now I can't tell
Which ship is sinking?
Which path is twisting
Into the place
I said I would never go?
Could somebody come here
And pick up my pieces?
Now that I finally
Say that out loud
I realize the absolute
Root of this conflict
Is that I have not been
Fighting my battles
I have just been
Smiling and faking a knowledge
Of what's going on
And where I should go.
When I was a child
The days were so simple
The routes were so clear
Now each step is a maze
But the truth of the matter
Is I wouldn't trade
The deep and unpredictable
Melody of feelings
Rushing within
My heart like a storm
If I can just
Find my Light
I know that
My heart will be alright.

1 comment:

  1. Ohmygoodnesss,
    I love this poem :)
    and I can totally relate to the mixed emotions and confused feelings you have about the next step you're about to take in life.
    Great job girl :) Keep me updated on new poems you publish!