With Him Again

Today I have realized
Something that gives me
A deep breath in my chest
My shoulders drop
As the tension releases
And tears streak my vision
As songs sing softly
Of gratitude in my heart.
Because today
My thoughts were black
Each soul was a shadow
That crossed my path
A flood of darkness
Slashed through each step
As I fought to keep
A steady breath
Finally the weight
Of trying to decide
Between fake or broken
And struggling to hold
Onto cool, calm composure
When really I was
A trembling mess
Crushed me to pieces.
My heart screamed aloud
And pierced through my role-play
Shredding my act
Into shriveled-up pieces
My soul was shown bare
As I threw up my hands
And surrendered each heartbeat
Up to the One
Who picks me up into
His arms that are strong
Puts back the mixed-up, miscellaneous
Thing I've been calling
My life.
I tell Him
I'm sorry
I beg and
I weep
And then he gives me
Something to keep
Something so precious;
Though I don't deserve
A blink of His time
His words give me chills
As he calls me "mine"
I open my eyes
The world is so different
The path I am on now
Is full of bright flowers
And sunshine that warms
This soul that once froze
Showing me clearly
How I can be
With Him again.
A thought in my head
Lights up my soul
It feels like a smile
It sounds like a baby laughing
It tastes like cold water
On a hot, sticky day
It smells like Italian food in the oven
The truth is so sweet:
He is always there.