Heaven Waits

Heaven waits for me
Glistening like a summer dew
Love is gushing in my heart
Rising and expanding,
Carrying me like a river raft
I let myself fall
In this spring filled with hope
I let myself go
Of anger and fear
Shedding these shadows
I let myself love
I let myself see
The light in the clouds
Of Jesus, sweet Jesus

Only the truly insane can see
How perfectly sensible His call is
Softly he sings for me,
Sweet like a melon's flesh
I shiver with pleasure
At the thought of my God
Holding me close
To the warmth of His heart
So I hold onto this rope
It's golden and warm
And if I keep my promises
And make up for
The ones I break
I will make it up the ladder
To a place where light abounds
And hearts may heal in a single moment;
Oh Jesus, please come for me!

Heart, Treble Clef

:)

I'm grateful for all of the
Moments we shared
For you were a star
Shining, high, in my sky
I'm grateful that you
Came so close to my heart
Even though you're gone now
And I don't know why
I'm grateful for all of
The words that we shared,
Ideas as emeralds and
Dreams, bright like gold
I'm grateful for all of the
Kindness in you
And I wish you peace
From now 'til you're old
I'm grateful each time
Your memory calls
Even though I am sad that you left
Yet music and friendship
Will always be ours
As I sign my name
Heart, treble clef.

Peyton

To a friend of mine whom I care about so much.


As I look out on the pale blue water
Sparkling under the crystal sun
I think of you, my friend
And my heart feels burdened
With the pain of your past

I wish the sun could shine a light
Into the darkness you have seen
I wish the ocean's waves could come
And wash away the seasick green
Of all the things you have endured,
The terror one should never face
I wish the Lord would soak your wounds
In soothing springs of healing grace

I wish that I could show you
That you are loved more than you know
And if you saw how much I cared
It could melt away the snow
Of icy- cold relationships
That left you with a chill
I wish that I could give you
All my love and still
The hope and joy that I have seen
I realize now I have been blessed
And I pray God will show you peace
Through every cycle of distress

Please take this poem I have scribbled
And let it be a sign that you
Are loved and cared for more each day
And one day soon you'll be made new.

:)

College.

Written about the more negative aspects of college partying; for instance, I recently read an article about a boy who DIED in a frat house after a night of heavy partying. According to the article, some of the people there carried him to a bed nearby, and he didn't move for 10 hours, yet no one did a thing... This breaks my heart. I recently visited some colleges, and after observations and hearing personal testimonies, this poem was the result of my thought processes.

They creep through the streets
In thousand, in unison
Mindless and controlled
Unaware of dark clouds rolling
Their eyes are dead
Their hearts are hard
Hurt and left, forgotten and left
I wonder how their Father feels
Crying, from a darkened sky

They wish to possess
A love like a lion-
Fierce and untamed
Like hearts left to love
But instead all they find
Is heartache and numbness
Faceless bodies,
Flailing and groping
Gasping for love,
So elusive, it waits
They swallow their poison
Eyes squinted, eyes blinded
Bitter stingers in their mouth,
It sits in bottles and cans

A lifestyle of joy
A lifestyle of freedom
A lifestyle of free love,
No one has to pay the price...
Is this really what you find,
Crying girl on Sunday morning?
How he held you, lost in poison
Then left you there for dead.
Is this really what you wanted,
Hopeless boy on Tuesday night?
You gaze up at your trophy wall-
Broken dreams you hoped to steal
Left to perish underneath
A nightmare filled with
Hangovers;
I know you knew your mother's love
And you knew that she loved you
I know the shame you feel as you
Love and leave another girl

College, once a golden place
How have you become so dark?
Oh, how you drain your victims,
Oh, how you break their hearts.

Outrun

Wrote this in a quick panting/ walking break while on a run, and pondering why I run.


As I'm running on the
Pounding pavement
The pain in my heart
Becomes physical,
A visceral sense of
My shame and abandonment
Sweeps through these lungs,
In my sides,
In my chest;

I see how she looked at me
Condescending, she scolded
She stripped my confidence
To the bone
And ever since
I've been wriggling in regret
So scared and ashamed
I twitch in my sleep
Nightmares are a familiar hand
Clammy and cold, to hold my thoughts

Just like he left me
Lying here
He clearly shouted into my heart,
"Yes, I know you and
No, I don't want you."

Which yes,
He has every right to say
And no,
That does not numb the pain.

So here I run
In shadows, in daylight
Here I run
In cold and in warm
I let my shadow
Follow my steps
As I try to outrun
My sorrows.

Silence

Silence I have sought so long
And haven't found,
I have not found
A silent star in daytime's sky
To plant my feet
Upon the ground
Yet on the night
I asked for God
Finally
I found a place
To rest my head
In silent silk
Tasting waves
Of silent grace.

lady danville. 7.28.11.

Enchanted night
Hundreds of people
Youth, excitement, open air
Concert stage
Rainbow lights:
Pink, blue, green and gold

I watched from the center
Roughly third row
Arrival through elbows,
"Excuse me, excuse me,"
Opening band:
Crunchy guitar
Sweaty, ambitious
Yet still I await
The main event

One, two, three
They came, took the stage
Heart is pounding
Please play my song...
Guitar strums through wires
Fingers touch plastic keys
Taped-up hands
On lovely cajon
Mouths kiss their microphones

My heart is alive
In this musical magic.

:)

Black & White

Did you hear that rustle in the bushes?
A quiet footstep, walking away
Did you feel that heartbeat,
Slowly fading from an emotion's life?
As the picture turns to black and white
Then crumbles into a dusty pile
As the wick turns black
And the flame slowly dies
My heart breaks as I let you go
Falling to the carpet's touch
I cry out as the pain is sharp
And let the memory
Of you and I die
Just as it was supposed to die
From the day I met you.

Thin Ice

I'm running
You're walking
Our hearts both on fire
Passion is a force
We both held back tightly

The difference is
I put my heart in;
I put my soul in

I reached out my hand
And you were not there
You were nowhere to be found.

I think of all the miles I travelled;
Hills and valleys
Sloping and rising
To see you, to be there for you
To give what you needed
I asked for support
But you wouldn't hold me up
I asked for a smile
And you showed me a shoulder
Cold as an ice storm
I shivered and shivered
Catching the flu
I stayed up all night
Exhausted, broken, forgotten and dead
Unappreciated,
I asked for you
Timidly, weakly,
I let myself hope
That you would be there;
A saving grace
In acid rain.

But you didn't come-
I waited.
You didn't care-
I wept.

And you didn't show me
The smallest of kindness
So here I am,
On the other side
The transformation is hard to believe
As I stand on this ledge
High above the city
My heart is still on fire,
My mind is now clear

I see what I need;
I see it.
I wait.
I wait for the one
Who will show me how he cares
In small deeds
And large promises
Kept neatly supported
By beams of actions
That reassure, nurture and protect.

I wait for the one
I don't have to run after
And chase like a thief
Escaping my love.

You will be a memory
Frozen in a distant pond
Under a sign,
Reading in red,
"Do Not Skate; Thin Ice."

For I refuse
From this day forth
To feel your coldness
Ever again.

Cancer

There you are
Somewhere in this city
Your world is a comet;
One light year away
I'm stubborn,
I sit here
I won't call your name
I simply sit softly
And laugh at this game
I saw you this summer
On nights like a sunset
My memories stacked
Just an echo away
From heartbreak or something
That kills like a cancer;
I squeezed hope too harshly
Just praying you'd stay.

Haiku for October

Cool October nights
Swing-sets high and trampolines;
Indigo sky clouds.

Scared

Dedicated to a friend I have lost to drugs.

I'm scared to see your eyes again
I'm scared to see your face
I'm scared because my heart tells me
The friend I knew has gone away
I'm scared cause I see darkness
Surrounds you like a cloud
I'm scared that you fell in a hole
And don't know how you can get out
I'm scared to look you in the eye
I'm scared you won't be there

If I confessed I cried for you,
Would you even care?

I'm scared you won't remember
The times we talked and laughed
I'm scared for you cause people say
Your heart has now turned black
They say the days that you were good
Are now stuck in the past
I'm scared that once you're too far gone
There's no way to come back

So on this night I lie here
So soaked in grief and strife
I pray to God to be with you
And save you from your life.

Turquoise

Take a clumsy paintbrush
And lazily let
The brightest of colors
Streak on a wall;
Your mother will find
Your masterpiece
And shout that paint
Is solely for paper.

This is the way that we are-
So innocent and childish.

Take a starry night
And fight the perfect vantage point
Then sprinkle the sky
With shooting stars
And curl up with your closest friend
To watch a secret symphony
Play your favorite songs.

This is the way I feel
When you look at me;
So breathless and awestruck
And grasping for words.

Now take the fiercest ocean
And the smallest, frightened child
Then place the child upon the sand
And hear the way she cries and screams,
Watch the way
She runs in fear
Terrified to even touch
A tiny drop of turquoise water;

This is the way I feel
About love and all its' implications.

How To Love

Inspired by the video for the song by Lil Wayne.


All she wanted was
Love
The simplest of gifts
So precious, so fragile
Yet so elusive
With burdens on her shoulders
Too heavy now to lift
How did something free
Become so expensive?
And the people that she trusted,
The people she would see
As models of her future,
Guardians of destiny,
Were on a darkened path,
Sinister and cold
To even ask for love
Seem so foreign and so bold
And when your mother's mirror
Holds shadows of abuse
How do you find Wisdom?
How do you find Truth?
It hovers out of reach
Like the stars that hide above
When all your life
You've searched for
How to trust and
How to love.

Doves

Dedicated to any person without a boy/girlfriend. This is for you; don't let the world convince you that you need to lower your standards.

Maybe we'll call this
My fault
And say that I
Mess everything up
Maybe the reason
I am alone
Is dark and sinister,
Deeply disturbed
But I choose to believe
That I am a dove
My white is too bright,
My peace is too much
And up in the sky
Though the view is unreal
It sometimes can feel a bit
Lonely
But one day another
Dove will come by
And together we'll fly
In the peace of the sky
Together we'll journey
Together we'll cry
And we will find something
So precious, so hushed
It dies if you dawdle
It dies if you rush
And we will hold on
Not too tight, not too much
We'll let it grow slowly
And we'll call it love.
:)

Love // Lust

Love is an angel,
She floats in the sky
Flitting just higher
Than what we can reach
We beg for her presence
Inside our parched hearts
But she pleads with us,

Patience, time and temperance.

We huff away, cross,
Impatience in hand
And then we seek
Lust
What a stunning mirage
She sits in a garden
So easy to find
So low in the branches
So close to our touch
With wild eyes, gleaming,
We rush to her side
And before we know it
She slyly smiles
And slips into
Our cynical hearts
Her breath full of roses
Her gaze like a song
We fall in a spell
And, just for a moment,
We feel so close to Love,
So mixed up, messed up,
Mistaken, mismatched
We swim through embraces
Like swans in a pond
Ignoring the fact
That beneath our feet
Is a dark, deep hole
Of the filthiest muck
And then,
The next day
We stumble to Lust,
Desires bulging
Like a bloated stomach
Our eyes glazing over
As though covered in clouds
As we rush to her side
We're sickened to find
That the smiling maiden
Has changed quite a bit
And all that stands before us
Is a towering beast
With eyes glowing, crimson,
It clutches our wrists
Enslaved, now we are,
We try, but can't flee
For now we are stuck,
Now we are trapped.
And our hearts softly cry,
Sobbing in betrayal;
How could we hurt them,
desert them and fail them
When they were meant
For so much more?
And shortly we will see
Love's angel in the sky
Beckoning and calling
So beautiful and white
But staring down at our imprisoned wrists
Lust, at our side,
Lets out a dark laugh
And, lying as usual,
Tells us quite curtly,
"Once you're with me,
You can never go back."
As Love, our sweet angel,
Weeps softly and waits,
In patience and hope
For our return.

Powerless

Written just after watching a friendship crumble.

In this moment
I want to fix
The fragile pieces, falling like ashes
From an orange, angry fire
That won't stop its' burn

But I stood there, blinking,
Powerless and aching
With the pain of a friendship,
Torn up into pieces;

I cry for this moment
When I can do nothing
I cry for these hearts,
Broken by pride,
Stubborn as horses
Who plant their hooves firmly
I cry for forgiveness,
Whose sad, angel face
Must hide in a corner-
Forgotten, unused

And I cry for myself
Unable to move
Unable to help
Unable to change;
Powerless.

Human

I want to see you laugh
With the power and emotion
Of echoes in a canyon,
A thousand miles deep

I want to see you cry
With the gutting desperation
That chokes our throats with teardrops
And shakes our bodies
Like stunning earthquakes

And I want to see you smile
With the glowing joy
Of a string of bulbs
Reflecting off of a shattered mirror
Like music screams our deepest thoughts

For I just want to know
That you feel, too,
The things I do
Please let me feel your heartbeat
So I know you're a human, too.

Fresh As Youth

I wrote this in the back seat of a pick-up truck, driving through Norcal with a handful of my siblings. The beauty of nature was overpowering, and the joy I felt so tangibly inspired this poem.

I step outside
A foggy box;
A slate-grey state of mind
And on this pavement
I rest my feet,
With pulsing, hot sun
Soaking my soul
As I breathe in the air
Of this day, fresh as youth
With the spirit of green,
Bright twigs on a tall tree
Like a weeping willow wilts
Under sad, sea-foam air
I can touch the clouds
With a sweep of my paintbrush
And I can sing a lullaby
To comfort all the stars
Burning under pressure
Of an endless font
Of midnight blue
Threatening to swallow
Their tiny, blazing bulbs

For in this moment,
I am free
Of the pressures
Of my whole life's roads;
Stop signs fade
To endless streets
That stretch beyond
The slender sprouts,
Fields of wheat
That nourish my heart
And blades of grass
That I walk on for balance
Today I am empty
Today I am full
With nothing more
Than a bright, bright soul
I sparkle like a diamond
I shine like a comet
And now I am one
With this day,
Fresh as youth.
:)

Christmas Lights

The familiar feeling
That cuts like a knife
Of being nearby but not needed
And being available
But not wanted
Of wanting so desperately
To feel
Just a little
That I am making
A tiny difference
In the lives of
My loved ones
I feel like
Christmas lights in July;
Stashed up in the attic-
Irrelevant, forgotten.

My Soul

If my soul were a place
I think it would be
A warm, sunny meadow,
Lush with tall flowers
Of amber and violet
And scarlet and turquoise
And smelling of roses
With paper-thin butterflies
Flying in comfort
And peaceful, at ease
And then on the sides
There'd be inlets much cooler
Heavy with moisture
And chilling with cold
Weeping willows would hang
Drooping with heartache
With cold drops of dew
Dripping like tears
A hammock would sway
And a wind chime would sing,
Softly and sadly,
Melancholy with grief
But always nearby,
The meadow lies ready
To warm up the cool
Of the willow's deep cold.

World Of Curtains

Sleep clutches
At my eyelids
Pulling me back
Into the world of curtains
Knitting my body
In drowsy dreams
I wrestle, unconscious
With subconscious
And conscious
As I stand on the cusp
Of these two fighting worlds
Murmuring reasons
To slip into one
Or fight into the other;
Just a few more minutes...
But I have to wake up!
I wrestle my strength
Even though I am still
Until I am forced
To choose simply one:
Eyes open or
Shut.

Impatience.

Impatience jumps
Like a restless child
Frowning, always frowning
Disapproving of our actions
And giving us quick reasons
Of why we need it now
And suddenly we see
Reality fast forwarded
And the shortest route
Seems like the best to travel
But let's not walk,
Let's run.
Skip all the stops,
Don't you dare smell those flowers
Grow up as fast
As your body allows
Shed your childhood skin,
That ugly old thing,
And meet every milestone
In five seconds flat
Rush, rush, rush
Impatience can't wait
She says
Step on this train
And we'll take the shortcut
Heart racing, arms flailing,
Schedule packed
Like a cup of sugar
We never noticed
That after this race,
This marathon rush,
All that is left
Is NOTHING
And behind those peering,
Impatient eyes
Is a dark, dark voice
And a clouded mind,
An eater of time
Who hopes you won't notice
How you've lived your life.

Foil Stars

A felt sky and foil stars
Glittered over my lonely face
As I reached up
For Heaven's touch
I ached inside
For waves of Grace
For down this winding
Road I've come
And up this hill
Of earth and clay
I've kept an eye
On glints of light
To travel down
The narrow way
And when I've felt
This glowing touch
Upon my ragged, struggling soul
It fills me with
Such hope and truth
I shed my fears;
They can't control
My happy heart
As beams of Faith
Lift me like
Hot air balloons
And I am in
Another place
A better place
Way past the moon

Some people scoff
They say to me,
"How can you trust?
There is no proof."

But I see God;
He lives inside
Each piece of me,
Each piece of you.

:)

Ballroom

I stepped into the ballroom
And felt my heartbeat
Trip and gasp;
The beauty of a single room,
The heavy weight of dauntless tasks
The instruments were heavy
In brass and wood and string
I sat there like a quiet child
And soaked up everything
I saw you from the balcony
You flashed a friendly smile
My stomach turned in somersaults
Like daisies sway for miles
I heard a secret whisper
Beneath the woven words
The magic left me breathless,
Touched
By music that I heard.

Anorexia

Dedicated to a woman who is always in my prayers.

Her frame was small,
So sickly small
Her arms were like
Two spindly sticks
Her eyes were wild
And in her cheeks
I could see
Her curvy skull
For death was wrapped
Around her waist,
Hungry for her haggard soul
And I could see
Exhaustion
Hiding behind
A caffeine tic;
A fragile smile
Thinly veiled
A train of thoughts,
So lost and sick
I couldn't help but gasp
For I could see
She wasn't there
Her mind was somewhere
Far behind
Distorted dreams and
Twisted cares
I wanted to cry out
And ask her what was wrong?
But I could see
She didn't see
How things had gone
So wrong
And in her wasting body
Her soul, too,
Was quite weak;
She needed help,
She needed strength,
She needed food to eat

It breaks my heart
That what she fears
Is exactly what she needs.

Ode To Dani

Happy eleventh birthday, Dani!

Dani,
My smallest sister,
I love you more than summer
When the sun is hot
And the ocean's cool
And we are driving in my car
With out favorite songs turned up high

I love you more everyday
For with your eyes
Green like honeydew
And freckles sprinkled
On your face like stars
And your salty voice
Crackly like autumn
I see the beauty
Of strength & innocence
So wrapped up together
Like presents on Christmas

You are the perfect balance
Of give and take, black and white
You take each day and give it a smile
And suddenly the sun will shine
For even in rain,
Your eyes are bright

And I can't believe
That you are mine
I'm more than lucky
To call you a sister
Whenever I hear
Your sparkling laugh
It ruffles my thoughts
Like shattering glass
You touch my heart
Like a potter with clay
And you make me believe
That everyday
Magic is hiding
Waiting to be revealed
By a word or a dance
Or a heart that's been healed

Thank you for being
A firecracker, a rainstorm
A force to be reckoned with,
My sister,
My smallest sister.

Love, Katherine :)

Poem For Joey

Today you are six;
Your voice is a song
As sweet as the sound
Of a soft music box
And when you sing for me
There's nothing as bright
As the curve of your smile
You are so honest;
Naïve as a lamb
As clever as a monkey
As daring as a tiger
I love you as deep
As the layers of water
That ripple and shimmer
In the ocean's great depths
And I learn so much from you
About life, about spirit
About how to be sincere
When people are lying
I thank God for placing
Such a beautiful person
Into my arms
As my small, precious brother.

<3

Creativity

Creativity
Spilling in torrents
Only on a mission
To never be bored
Never a dull moment
On days when we
Repeat the cycle
Of give and take sentences.

Today

Today is a gift
It sits in my lap
Wrapped in the bow
Of an early morning
I can't help but wonder
What's in the box?
But I know that question
Is senseless to ask
For if I'm to have
The greatest of days
It's all up to me
To find in this day
The beauty of LIFE,
The face of God,
And the joy of Love.

:)

Windmill Arms

I have to take this
Slow
Like water drips in spiral drops
When it is late
And you have left
The sink on
Just a tiny bit
For the seven hundredth time
I have to stop these thoughts
That run and run
Like windmill arms
Around and 'round
On gusty days
In numbers close
To infinite
Even though I miss you
Like summer days
Miss winter nights
Like the ocean's depths
Miss starry lights
Like anyone misses
Something that is
Far too far away.

Phoenix

Lately I've been thinking about forgiveness, and how it changes and challenges the human character. This poem is a culmination of those thoughts and ideas.

I know I'm only human
But that is not
A timeless pass
And I should have known better
I should have known
This wouldn't last
For all the useless moments
I drank up like
A careless sweet
Are now to me
The worst of me
And something I
Will not repeat
I'm sorry I was selfish
I do regret
The path I drifted
All the tears
I caused, my friend,
I pray to God
Will soon be lifted,
Lifted from your caring heart,
Lifted from your onyx lashes
But please, just know,
I am a phoenix;
I have risen from the ashes.

If I Were A...

Inspired by my friend who gives me creativity tips :)

If I were a summer
I'd be the warmest,
So people with broken hearts
Couldn't feel cold
If I were a bug
I'd be a cricket
Cause I'm always singing
Or talking too much
If I were a car
I'd be a truck;
Rusty and dented, sturdy & strong
If I were a song,
I'd be the kind
That pierces your heart
Yet still lifts you up
If I were an animal
I'd be a puppy
Cause words carry more
Than the weight of the world
When spoken to me.

This is Why I Write.

A random thought process I wrote down in the studio last week between lyric-writing and A Wrinkle In Time:

A lot of times when I am writing- poetry, lyrics, or just thoughts- I look back at pages and pages of my work in disgust. I wonder where my talent has gone. I wonder why I haven't created anything I am proud of lately. I think that horrible thought, that life-devouring thought:

What is the point?

And then it happens; one small, brilliant idea. A stunning poem I am really proud of. Something raw and radiant comes out of me with such force I am blown away. Once again I am renewed.
This is why I write.
There is a point to all of this. That great number of so-so things that I dumped onto paper in dismay, wondering, "Why am I still trying? Where is the gold?" all has a point.

Word by word, syllable by syllable, I'm building up a skill, nourishing and growing the gift God gave to me.

One great work cannot be without a thousand failures.

:)

Writer's Block

Writer's block
Around the clock
Locks up all my
Gorgeous thoughts
Ties up all my
Words in knots
Do I need
Electroshock
Therapy
To deal with this?
Is there something
That I missed?
Something in the
Rules of life
A contract that I didn't sign?

Shivers

Crushed ideas make
Silent teardrops
On ice cold feelings
In quiet car-rides

But tomorrow we'll be
Where the sun never leaves
And our shivers we'll shed
Like snakes shrug their skins.

Desk & Chair

This poem inspired a song that may be on our album :)

I don't want a contract
Or an office
Or a desk and chair
I don't want dollars in my pocket
Or diamonds in my hair
All I want is you
With that perfect smile
And your hand in mine
Plus all your time.

Frostbite

Silence shakes
A thousand walls
That friendship had
Put up for us
And asks me all
The questions that
I would rather
Run fast from
I called you,
Left a message
But you did not call back
My heart is
Cold and empty
I'm scared that we've
Turned black
Like skin that's tinged
With frostbite
After a blizzard's kiss
I hate the thought
Of you being
Someone I'll always miss.

Beauty In All Things

Dark brown coffee
Steams and hisses
Ocean waves
Come curl and crash
Human hearts
And Nature's drums
Are always beating,
Beating fast
Tie the laces
On your shoes
Feel the grace
Of Nature's kiss
There is something
Soft and silent
Magical
And to be missed
For if you wake up
At the time
Your sleepy head
Says, "Back to sleep,"
You'll find Love
Comes out to play
In chanting birds,
In foods we eat
For though the mud
Might seem to some
As nothing good
From Nature's spring
Open eyes
Will come to find
That there is beauty
In all things.

:)

Our Story

Dedicated to my friends who have inspired me by their bravery and openness to love.

There's always a chance
When it comes to Love
That this could be the one
That breaks your heart
And I can say
From living it out
That I've been there
And the pain cuts deep

But maybe this time
The pieces will fit
Like slices of rainbow
Like tightly-held hands
And maybe each day
You'll think of me better
And grow in your interest
As I do for you
Maybe we'll fight
But each of these feuds
Will end with such growth
In grace and in trust
Maybe, just maybe
You and I
Could write our story
As one of the greatest.

Sunlight

In loving memory of a very good friend of my mom.

Loneliness
Had come to live
Inside the house
That was her heart
As family ties
Broke off and then
Dissolved into
A shaken dust

I remember the last time
I saw her smiling face
I was just a child
But I remember curly hair
And foreign words
So drenched in love
So loud and full
Of Passion's heat
I remember her two boys
Playing in my family's yard

And though she felt
As though her life
Had fallen off of Fate's top shelf
And shattered into
Something dark
Jesus knows
That even though
Her heart has stopped
And she is gone
Her soul still lives
And shines like sunlight
In a place
Where people smile
And loneliness
Is not allowed.

Matches

Brown eyes, thick lashes
You light up like matches
Strike hard cardboard boxes
Like fiery foxes
When I look at you
I can see what I do
It's like I am a spell
And you are as well
Cause you and me-
That's it;
Together we're magic.

My Father

There is one thing I need
In this coldest of winters
That rattles my bones
And stifles my hopes
I squeeze my eyes shut
Like lemons in summer
And think of my God,
My Savior, my Father.
<3

Lesson Learned

I guess the lesson
You have learned
From my silent symphony
Is that, although I'm patient,
I won't wait around forever.

Sweet

One moment I spend with you
Is laughter from an infant's smile
And with your eyes,
So round, so blue
You look at me and I can't help
But melt like wax
Falls soft in drops
From burning candles in a jar

Everything I feel inside
When you are standing
By my side
Feels beautiful
Like daybreak's sun;
Cool and fresh
Like just-washed greens

And if the Lord
Would bless me with
Just one good chance
To be to you
The best friend that
I know how
I would laugh
And I would sing
With purest joy,
Sweet as honey.

Eraser

What a strange thing
Is a brand new eraser;
When you can write secrets
Then smooth them away
And you can tell stories
But change every part

Too bad all our lives
We have written in pen.

Business As Usual

Yes, this is all on me;
I claim this as my fault.
I'm sorry I mistook
The words that you said
And the things that you did
As something coming
From a human heart
As some small form
Of human emotion

Sorry I was stupid
For guessing that you cared
I realize now that it was just
A business call,
And I was one
You could call "esteemed colleague"
I'll tell my heart
To shh, be quiet
And shake your hand,
Pump, pump, release
It's all in a day's work
And nothing more than that

I'm sorry that I thought
That maybe this was love.

Chicken & Stir-Fry

To my friend whom I love very much.

I remember
For it was just 2 weeks ago-

Chicken and stir-fry
On a plate

Laughter flowed
In easy streams
As we sat down
And prayed together

Over chicken and stir-fry
On a plate

It was you,
The daughter
And your sister
Mother, father
And then sat me,
The best friend

And for a moment,
There we were:

Chicken and stir-fry,
Easy laughter
We were a family
Two weeks ago

Then fast forward
To today

I got your call
This morning
My jaw dropped down
And my heart froze
As your words pierced
My deepest dreams,

"My mother, my father,"
You said to me
In blackest words
"Are splitting up."

And I cried out
To Jesus Christ,
"Why?"
I asked Him,
"Why these words?"

My heart was sad
My heart was angry

And I can't believe
The family I know
The family I love

Has shattered apart

I cry for you all-

Two daughters, a father
One mother and memories:
Chicken and stir-fry
On a plate.

Summers

I remember
In scorching summers
The final hours
Of pulsing sun
When, just before
The darkness came,
In heavy curtains
And whispered winds,
The magic of
The steel-cut silence

And I would open
My front door
And sit outside
On my front-step
To let the crickets
Sing to me
The sweetest songs
In harmony
As coarse as
Manes
On husky horses

And in the sky
Of California
The stars strung out
Like angels in Heaven
To break my heart
As I yearned to fly.

Wishing // Hoping

Wishing is wistful and
windy and waning,

Casting off dreams
Like kites in the clouds

Hope is sustained by
A signal or sign,

The logic of proof and
The fire of Faith.

Blank Paper

There is nothing more stunning
Than a blank piece of paper-
So spotless and honest
So shining with promise
So ready for pen
To meet him with a smile
This perfect duet
Keeps on singing for miles
And then in the end
You are left with such art:
With fables of true love
Or your broken heart.

A Poem For Stoners

This is a poem for all my friends who have been affected by drugs in one way or another. Some people say it's not a big deal, but if you've ever seen your friend's passion and love for life slowly dwindle away from an addiction to drugs, you know that it is very much a big deal. God bless :)

You say,
It frees your mind
And nothing matters,
There's no time
You say
You need this feeling
That you're addicted
To this feeling

But when you wake up,
You're still sad
As all your senses
Dull to gray
And guilt comes back
To knock your door
And life still turns
In endless circles

And when you wake up,
You are not the same

You say it's you,
You say you're there

But all I see are burnt, red eyes
And crusty lungs and
Shattered dreams;
Spaghetti brains

It makes me cry
To see you die

One puff at a time.